TBR031 Session Notes

Posted on Tue Feb 1, 2022 @ 6:10am by Commander Carl Hedley
Edited on Sun Mar 13, 2022 @ 7:45pm

Unedited Session Notes by Tom TBR031 12/18/21
Christmas Special

Back on the Potemkin! Christmas feelings all round, decorations on the bridge, christmas tree, all fun and games. Oh no! There’s a distress call! Weird one, too. Automated, bouncing up and down frequencies, it seems like there’s been an attack of some kind on someone a few light-years away!

We arrive, do some analysis, turns out the frequencies make the computer play jingle bells? Very festive! There’s a red giant with no planets, and an unusual object, spinning and adrift. A quick scan shows that it’s a sleigh? About a kilometre long, with warp nacelles where its runners ought to be.

Conversation with a holographic elf. Play some pronoun game, ‘they’ve’ rebelled and taken ‘him’ somewhere, and the elf wants us to help. Then the sleigh runs away, leaving a bell shaped communication relay behind with coordinates and a video on it. Video seems safe, so we watch it. Shows the sleigh, internal explosion, drops to impulse and holographic reindeer show up. Small ship flies out, shoots red and yellow striped pulses at the sleigh which make pretty colours when they hit the shields, then makes a go-to-warp flash and disappears, although the computer says it didn’t actually go to warp.

Follow the coordinates after a quick break for mince pies and brandy. They lead to an ice planet with no structures or signs of intelligent life, except for a single building at the north pole, a little shack with a single life sign and a north pole.

Suit up in environmental suits and earmuffs and beam down outside the shack. Turns out it’s pretty nippy. Also very snowy, which is fun. Then there’s a flash of light and the temperature gets a bit less nippy. And now the shack is a big circular platform with a roof, concentric circles of houses, brick roads, and stuff. Trippy. Seem pretty solid when Carl pokes one, too.

Ral and Carl get in a snowball fight while Elli scans for power sources. Ral throws a snowcube at Carl, Carl responds with a clearly superior snowrhombicdodecahedron. Before we can get to the lifesigns, a small elf child runs in from the other direction and crashes into Pride. She doesn’t seem interested in mince pies, but she also seems trepidatious of ‘them’. And says ‘they’re’ coming, and we should get inside. Mysterious.

We head off to join the other lifesigns. Most get there, it’s a big house, not very defensible, packed with elves. Carl and Elli aren’t so quick, and Scott stays back, and they hear some borg! Scott hangs back to get a look, and it turns out they’re snowborg! Oh no! Phasers make a hole in them, but they just keep coming!

As they get closer, the elves come out with snowball cannons, which seem to be more effective. They take them all out, then confirm that ‘him’ is Santa. Then we have a bit of a chat, head inside, Carl offers them mince pies and brandy. As it turns out, although the weather outside is pretty frightful, the fire is, indeed, so delightful. Also, tardis building, looks bigger on the inside. Although actually it’s smaller, we’ve just been shrunk. But there’s all sorts of christmassy things to eat and drink, so that’s sort of alright.

There’s also a war table in the middle, with a landed borg sphere on the edge of the village. Although they call it a snow castle, or ‘snowsphere’. Appeared three nights ago, apparently, and the attacks have been going on ever since. Don’t seem to be killing or assimilating anyone, but if you get touched, you’re beamed away.

Basically, they need help making their guns bigger. They’re powered by mini snowstorms, but the elves lack imagination, so they need someone more creative to build the guns bigger for taking on the evil snowborg at their fortress. Elli and Mcintyre to the rescue! They come up with plans, and the weird fabricatey thingy makes all sorts of fun things! Guns, crossbows, shotguns, artillery pieces… Just in time, too! The borg show up!

Carl and Mcintyre commence a preliminary bombardment with our artillery pieces! Massive snowballs fire out of candycane barrels, and KABOOM! Craters in the road, filling with snow, but they’re still coming, so time for more kaboom!

Everyone does a lot of violence, Mcintyre shoots lots, Ral mows snowborg down with her repeater crossbow icicle launch-majig. Then we sneak off to take a sleigh out and try to sneak onto the snowsphere in search of Santa while the rest have them distracted. Sneaky! Also very stylish, looks super cool.

We reach the sphere, it looks exactly like a sphere except it’s made out of snow. Oh, also, it has a mysterious green glow. Lovely borg have even left a handy entrance on the bottom! So nice of them. Looks exactly like you’d expect from a borg sphere! Except, you know, ice and snow. Rank upon rank of snowborg looking creepy, as expected. Doctor takes a sample of snowborg corpse! Seems like it’s just normal snow. So there must be something here making it live! Time to find it!

Doc picks up a pair of lifeforms! Exciting. One is non-descript, but the other is actual real-life borg, apparently. Onwards! The chamber they’re in is pretty close. It also has a proper door, surprisingly.

Inside, we find Santa, floating in green spinny jail beams! Also an evil nasty queen suspended from creepy tendrils. Yuck! She says she wants to assimilate us, so Carl shoots her! But shields absorb it. Then she calls for someone called ‘Jeremy’, who turns out to be a snow-Gorn-Borg. Very scary! But then it turns out to be not such a big deal as Scott launches a flying drop kick at it and just goes straight through it. Taking advantage of its new sluggishness, the doctor finds some salt lying around and shoves it in a grenade, which he chucks into the gorn’s Scott-hole. The hole seals up, then the grenade explodes inside it, and the Gorn disintegrates into snowflakes.

Queen seems disappointed, but who cares what she thinks, right? She comes down, though, jumping into a body which rises out of the ground, looking maybe a little bit icy? Santa seems to be enjoying himself. He says the queen is called Cassandra. Then he blows up the queen.

There’s a whole creepy conversation where he knows us and stuff, then a starfleet lady turns up and, surprise surprise, it’s a Q! She does some weird Q stuff, obviously, and then we appear back on the Potemkin.

 

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